On August 5, 2025 I’ll have been meditating every single day for 20 years.
That number feels crazy to me. I didn’t start this practice to rack up a meditation streak. I started it because I couldn’t sleep, was stressed out, running on fumes, and looking for something—anything—that could help me slow down and feel more like myself. And honestly? I didn’t really know what I was doing for the first three months.
Not What I Expected
I thought meditation would be more… out there, more hippy, more lovey dovey, more woo woo. I imagined a sacred ritual with incense, chanting, and holding hands.
Instead, my first lesson started with: “Sit comfortably, and gentle close your eyes. Now try to feel your breath.”
I remember thinking, Wait, what? This is it? “Feel my breath?” What the hell does that even mean?
But I kept showing up.
Consistency Over Clarity
At first, I didn’t feel like I was doing anything “right.” I wasn’t levitating or enlightened. I wasn’t wrapped up in a blanket of bliss. My mind wandered. I got distracted. I thought it was dumb. I’d wonder if I was wasting my time. If I’m being honest with myself, sometimes I still do.
But I learned that consistency beats clarity. Just showing up, even when you don’t feel it, even when it’s boring or messy or unclear—that’s the practice. That’s where the transformation seeps into every aspect of your being.
It’s like brushing my teeth now. I don’t ask myself if I’m in the mood. I just sit. Every morning at 5:20 a.m., before coffee, before texting, before the world wakes up. That’s my time. I sit again midday, usually in between classes, to reset and recharge so I can be present with my family.
Small Shifts, Big Impact
Meditation didn’t flip some magic switch that made life easy. I still have stress. I still get annoyed. I still lose my sh!t sometimes (just ask my wife and kids). But I’ve noticed I recover faster. I react less. I respond more.
Over time, I’ve felt both subtle and powerful changes in how I show up—in my relationships, my health, and how I move through hard moments.
The old story I used to carry—about who I was and what I was capable of—has softened. I’m not limited by those old patterns of Samsara anymore. Meditation helped me see that I’m not broken, I’m just living this human experience. And so is everyone else.
Meeting Myself
Meditation has helped me meet myself with more honesty and compassion. And the wild thing is, the more I’ve been able to sit with my own mind and heart, the more open I’ve become to others. I’ve started to see the things that I like it myself – instead of constantly being fixated on the things that I don’t like about myself.
I’ve come to see that underneath all our roles and stories, all our positions and possessions we’re all just people trying to be happy, trying not to suffer. That shared vulnerability has made me feel less alone in the world—and helped me be more kind, even in small, everyday ways. The reality is, we’re all just trying to do the best we can given all we’ve been put through, all of our conditioning – and at our own level of awareness.
Now, when I meet a stranger, I feel less afraid. I notice how much we share.
And when I meet myself in meditation, I no longer feel like a stranger.
Here’s to Another 20
So no, it’s not always easy. And it’s not always peaceful. But it’s real. It’s mine. And after 20 years, I can honestly say this: Meditation hasn’t made my life perfect—but it has made me more me. And I ‘m looking forward to the next 20 years!
I hope this helps.
-Andy
