“The greatest gift you can give someone is your presence.” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh
I like to think that the greatest gift you can give to anyone this holiday season is to get your sh!% together. =)
The Holidays are a time of joy, love, family, friends… and stress. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Holiday season. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the look on my kids face when they’re opening their gifts on Christmas morning. But… between the physical demands of always being on the go – running from one party to another – and the extra emotional energy needed to catch up with family and friends… not to mention socializing with colleagues at company parties, the Holidays can be VERY stressful. Add in an ample supply of cookies, candy canes, caffeine, and some extra Nog, you’re bound to get some heightened physical and emotional reactions to your stress.
In order to slow things down so we can really enjoy the Holiday season this year we need to start planning NOW. Here are five tips that will help you manage your stress levels over the Holiday season.
1. Practice Acceptance
The first tip is to practice acceptance. It’s the Holidays – there will be stress – embrace it and practice letting it go. I know this sounds harsh, but there are just some things that we cannot change so we need to move beyond the fact of thinking that we can. The sooner you accept this, the easier it will be to deal with the annoyance or irritation of that moment – so you can try to let it go and move on.
Take your family for example. Family is family – and every family has a “Cousin Eddie”, so this year… don’t let him bother you or try to change him. You know how hard it is to try to change yourself; so don’t expect you can change someone else this season.
Believe me, I know it’s easy for me to say things like, “Let it go… go with the flow… and embrace your stress”. However, making the conscious choice NOT to bottle up your emotions and announce to yourself, “Well, XYZ just happened. I guess I should just deal with it now” – this will actually lessen the stress level because you’re not pushing the issue back down and fighting it. Trust me on this one. It will just bubble back up later on if you don’t deal with it. Dealing with your stress NOW rather than trying to push it away is key if you want to relax and have any sort of fun this Holiday season.
2. Planning
Let’s face it, there are going to be a number of Holiday events this season and if you try to attend them all, you’ll wear yourself out quickly. If you over-commit just to please everyone, this will only lead to more stress all around. The goal should be able to relax and really enjoy the Holiday season – it goes by so quickly. Looking back we often wish we could have been more “in the moment”. With this in mind, it is important to create a master calendar NOW recognizing your limitations – you’ll be able to plan for the essentials and possibly scale back on the less important commitments. The more you plan NOW, the more you will enjoy your time with your friends and family when you are at a social event or party. Again, this year “accept” that you can’t do it all – and know that it’s okay to say no… politely, of course.
3. Meditate
For thousands of years Vedic Sages, Buddhist Monks, and regular people like you and me and have used meditation as a tool to slow down the stories we tell in the mind and relax the body. But this doesn’t mean we need to travel to India or some remote mountain in the Himalayas to meditate. You can actually meditate almost anywhere. When you start your day with meditation, not only will you be better equipped to cope with stress of the Holidays, you might even unveil a few new perspectives you didn’t have before. It doesn’t have to occur in the morning – personally, I think it’s a great way to decompress and melt away the accumulated stress after a busy day. But again, you can do it anywhere. Try to meditate for 10 minutes each day. You can use this simple guided meditation that uses the breath.
You can also use this breathing exercise the next time you are in a long check-out line.
Waiting in line Meditation
• Take a deep breath in and pay close attention to your breath (be aware of the people around you – make sure you’re not in the way of anything)
• Every time you notice your mind has wondered to other thoughts, feelings, or noises, “catch yourself” and bring your attention back to your breath
• Try to make your exhales a little longer when it’s your turn to unload your items from the carriage
You will be amazed at how energized you feel!
4. Yoga/ Exercise
The Holiday season is usually when people give up on fitting in their exercise …and clothes;). In the North East it gets cold… and dark a lot earlier, so it’s often hard to get motivated to move. This year, make Thanksgiving the NEW New Year’s day. This is when we can reflect with gratitude on the prior year and set our intentions and goals for the following year. Then, get moving! Soon, you’ll start to forget about “the irritating coworker from last night’s party” and your stress will naturally dissolve – you will actually feel a boost in your energy and mood. This is also the best time of the year to hit the gym because it’s less crowded. You’ll have your routine locked down before all the “quitters” come back in January.
Yoga and Exercise are like “meditation in motion” because you’re focusing on a single task and more concerned with your physical movement – concentrating on how your body is feeling. If live in my area, check out my schedule under Classes or find me at Stil Studio , 227 Legacy Pl, Dedham, MA. 02026. I co-teach half yoga, half guided meditation every Monday night 6:30-7:30, and a meditation only class on Thursdays at 6:30. Try to take a few classes a week, or get a massage, your body will thank you later.
5. Sleep
The last tip is all about sleep. Lots of late nights and a lack of sleep can contribute to experiencing even greater stress. Sleep is essential for balance and renewal, especially during the Holidays when we are constantly expending energy with friends and family members… and running from one crowded store to the next. How can you wake up refreshed throughout the season? Try this:
• Set and get into a routine
• Go to bed and wake up the same time every day (weekends included)
• Use the bedroom for sleeping – No TV, cell phones, or working on the laptop once you crawl into bed (this goes double for my wife;)
• No caffeine and limit your alcohol before you go to bed
No matter how busy the holidays get, we need to take time each day to stop and be present with our life – AS IT IS – even if it’s restless. If you can’t meditate for 10 minutes each day, don’t throw in the towel. Meditating for 5 minutes can be just as an effective practice – even better for you, if you can schedule it in a few times a day.
Above all, remember our mantra for this year – be kind to yourself. Inner peace is the best place to make sure we all make it hOMe for the holidays;).
I hope this helps.
-Andy